I have a problem. Kind of. I am a
serial crusher. I find someone I think is cute, and develop a crush almost
immediately. Of course the crush is completely in my head, so that while I may
flirt a little, I never actually pursue anything, and eventually I find someone
else that I think is cute. Still, I am one of those girls who sigh over guys
and hope in the back of my mind that they might like me back, but never
actually go after what I want. I sit back and wait for something to happen to
me, like some timid little girl. But what does that classify me as, a feminist,
romantic, or much more likely, neither! In high school, I never actually had a
real relationship, but I also didn’t stress any kind of feminists rights. I
thought that it didn’t matter if I was either one, because honestly, they both
had a pretty bad reputation.
Coming into this class made me
realize that is important to take a stance. Women have so much history, and
it’s not right to take our progress for granted. Even though some of the waves of feminism
came off a little too strong for my taste, they were what got us here today, as
argued in Sexy From The Start. It is
better to have a balance between feminism and romance, rather than choose
neither, because that is the only way we can move forward. If no one
participates in a movement to fight for their beliefs, then we will truly be in
a post feminism era, without having accomplished our goals.
I have another problem. Kind of.
Even though I never classified myself as a romantic in high school, I still
loved romance novels. Still do in fact, although at this point they have to be
quality romance novels for me to appreciate them. I used to think that I read
them for escapism, classifying myself very similarly to Storey’s idea of a
classic romance-reading woman, but I have since decided that the theory no
longer applies. Maybe in high school I was unhappy with my romantic life,
seeing how it didn’t exist, and I felt self-conscious with my friends, but that
is no longer the case. I am comfortable with who I am, and feel no desire to
“escape” my life. And yet, romance novels still appeal to me, but why?
I think I have to go with Phillips
on this one, and say that it gives me a sense of empowerment. I feel more in
control when I read about other women in control, as if we are bonding over the
power that we hold. I can imagine myself sitting with a few of the female
characters from the books I have read, and just laughing at those who think
that loves makes women weak. I may not have experienced love yet, but I believe
those books are preparing me so that when I do fall in love, I don’t lose
myself in the process. They are teaching me now, before it’s too late, how to
stay true to myself, even when I might not want to. So bring it on, all those
who judge me for being one of “those” girls, the ones who read romance novels,
because I can promise you that I will never be the other type of “those” girls,
whose entire lives revolve around their relationship.
Well Mackenzie, I have to say, you’re not alone when it comes to the “serial crusher” syndrome. When I was in high school, I always had a crush. It didn’t matter if it was someone I talked to every day, or someone who I only saw once a day between 3rd and 4th period. I would daydream about them, think about how wonderful our future relationship would be, but I would never, ever actually do something about it. Maybe this syndrome came from the fact that I hadn’t yet taken this class, and hadn’t yet analyzed feminism and the romance. I wasn’t a feminist, I wasn’t a romantic, I was just a high school girl, and according to tradition high school girls fall in love. When I read romance novels in high school, I was desperate for relationships, so therefore I loved the romance for “escapism” as Janice Radway and John Storey would argue. I wanted to get away from not having a relationship when it seems everyone else did, and escape into a world where I could have that love. I wanted to escape my own world, into a world that was easy and comfortable.
ReplyDeleteBut that was then, and this is now! What am I now? Well, I think I’ve come a long way from pining after random boys and wishing they were mine. I think I’ve matured a lot since then, and in the same ways that you have. First of all, I am now a responsible and busy college student. I have a career to think about pursuing, and tons of work that has to be done. I have goals to achieve, places to go, things to do! I am a woman now, not a girl. I define myself by my own standards, and not some ridiculous standards set by the “cool kids” in high school. I understand feminism, and have realized how important it has been to my life, every single wave of it. I am no longer floating in between and unaware.
I believe I have switched from looking to romance for “escapism” and “consumerism”, and instead I now find empowerment, like Jane Krentz says she does. I see women with power and control and in my own hectic and crazy life as a college student, I find that empowering and comforting. I see a woman taming the beast of a man, and picture myself taming the beast of my crazy life. I am no longer daydreaming about a boy; I’m daydreaming about power, determination, and control. I think you can relate that over time our feminism and romance has evolved. We might still love the romance, but we’re also learning to love feminism too.
Mackenzie makes a point to say that women have to take a stance in feminism, otherwise we will “be in a post feminism era, without having accomplished our goals,” and I completely agree with her. Any movement, specifically feminism, would be nothing if no one speaks their opinion or takes sides. The reason feminism even began is because someone somewhere voiced their opinion about women’s rights, therefore, if feminism is to thrive—and I believe that it must—we must not sit idly by as Mackenzie described she used to and how I think I do. Everyone has an opinion, and I think Moran put it best when she said she is “going to urge [us] to say ‘I am a Feminist,’’ because she believes in making your voice heard. Moran does say that she wants you to declare your feminism, but I think that what you declare is irrelevant, so long as you do take a stance on something. No one should be afraid to say what they think based on what people will think, because you cannot fix a problem if no one tells you what the problem is.
ReplyDeleteMackenzie also brings up the idea of escapism. She says that escapism is when you are enjoying romance—either a novel or film—because you are dissatisfied with your current romantic life. And although that is also how Storey seems to describe escapism in her writing “Gender and Sexuality,” I disagree. Of course that is one reason for escapism, but it is most certainly not the only reason for it. But unlike Mackenzie, I do not necessarily read romance novels for the empowerment of women; however that is an added bonus. I read them because it is something pleasant to get my mind off the real world for a little while, it helps me to de-stress or just enjoy a happy ending when I am sad. This doesn't have to be about my romantic life either, it could be family problems or school stress; it is just nice to get away. Escapism, like feminism, can be defined in many ways; it all depends on who you are asking about it.